I want something I can't receive

I want a sign so bright it burns out doubt, A word so absolute it conquers fear, A kiss that makes the question disappear, A choice that turns my darkness inside out. I want her love confessed, announced, cried out past hesitation, steady and sincere, So even I, who twist what I hold dear, Could trust at last what I have lived without.

But love won’t speak in certainties or proof. The jump is blind. We close our eyes to pray. And even if she took me, made me, fell my doubt would force us sheltered and aloof. The signal could be clear, and yet I turn away. O God, that I could yet receive it well.